Iphone 5 – the first humanoid mobile phone that acts based on owner’s behaviour and keeps your skin smooth?
Where are we headed with exponential development of the iphone? Let’s take a peek into the projected future of the Iphone, optimistically pitched to be delivered with the next release of Apple’s mobile phone: the Iphone5 (Iphone 5). You will be amazed, ecstatic or maybe appalled and disappointed...
The 'Humanoid Phone Triad' consisting of GPP, GUP and HUS. Iphone 5 will record conversations, it will analyse and map preference and taste, it will measure physical indicators such as heart rate, tone of voice, breathing frequency and body temperature in order to create a GPP (Generic Personality Profile), a GUP (Generic User Profile) and a HUS (Hourly updated User State). This will enable it to perform the following functions:
Automatic call back function of Iphone 5. Through voice modulation and subject matter related projected mind mapping, missed calls will be returned automatically and dealt with by your Iphone 5. You will not have to get involved at all. Conversations between your Iphone and the returned caller will be transcribed and stored under documents in date order for your reference.
Automatic call accepting function of Iphone 5 Combining the (Hourly User State) HUS, recorded phonecall analysis data and incoming call recognition, your Iphone will automatically accept or reject phonecalls. You can also choose for the Iphone 5 to conduct the phoneconversation using voice modulation techniques, and transcribe the calls for your future reference as in the automatic callback function.
Look and feel of Iphone 5 Your phone will dynamically change the outside look and feel of the iphone 5 based on your personal tastes and mood (obtained from tone of voice during previous phonecall and heartrate) – enabled through light reflection techniques and dynamically manipulated compound material coating.
Stored Phone Number spotter and generator Iphone 5 will automatically identify which phones in a 15 metre radius have your phone number and historical call data stored. Based on user preference, it can just vibrate when a match is identified, it can push user information to be stored on the host phone or it can remove data stored on the host phone.
Location transmitter Iphone 5 will be able to transmit satellite data to social apps such as facebook so that you can be located wherever you are. User can choose to switch this off but only Monday to Friday.
In-built electric shaver A Pop-out razor functionality for those quick shaves and forgotten corners. The speakers at the bottom of the Iphone 4 will revolve to reveal shaving heads when application ‘Shave’ is selected and start stop will be controlled through the application. The application will also contain a self-cleaning function which needs to be run overnight. Place the Iphone on a napkin, select ‘Overnight Clean’ in the application, and all hair and gunk will be neatly deposited onto the napkin just beside the Iphone for you to dispose of in the morning.
Media ‘Scan and Store’ function Hold the Iphone 5 close to a cd, a record (vinyl), cassette tape and it will automatically store all music and film in Iphone 5-friendly media for you to enjoy on your phone.
Ultrasonic sound transmission – goodbye, headphones Wireless transmission of music at ultrasonic sound via piezoelectric emitters at a frequency uniquely tailored to user’s ears so that only he/she can hear it – a new technology reminiscent of dog whistles is pending patent but very promising.
Object ‘Scan, Track and Find’ (STF) function Scan your objects (keys, wallet, passport) with the Iphone scan eye (located just beside the headphone jack) and it will keep track of their location within a 20m radius with Apple Satellite Finder. Lose the object, open the Object ‘STF’ application, and Iphone will show you a map of where you are within a 20m radius with your objects located. Each object will receive a number, for example keys is no 1. A number 1 will be displayed on the map to indicate the location of your keys.
The future is bright. At this rate, mobile phones will be on auto pilot sooner than cars. The only thing left for you to do is live your life while your iphone is doing the talking and social networking – I call this ‘Automated Vintage Living’.
But beware, do read your callback and accepted calls transcriptions if you want to stay up to date with your life and definitely do not lose your iphone unless yours is on someone else’s STF app within a 20 metre radius….
(smallprint) Note that all content in this likealot publication about Iphone 5 or any other Iphone models or any other Apple products, is purely fictional and not based on any research or external input. This particular publication is created for entertainment purposes only.